Okay……. I am over the anger I felt on Monday night. I am over the anger I felt when I realized that my desire to change and improve my life was not well received by those around me. I understand now that change can be scary to those closest to me. Change can be threatening because you just never know what the outcome will be.

 

Maybe I'll decide that I want to live in another place. Maybe I'll decide that I want to change careers. Maybe I'll decide I want to travel the world. Maybe I'll meet a bunch of new friends and start doing things I've never done before. Maybe I'll, I'll………….

 

The list could go on and on.

 

So I'm not angry anymore, but won't change my mind. This is something I must do.

  

I've been thinking a lot about what I posted on Sunday. I said that I wasn't happy, but looking back, I don't think that happy was the right word. I am happy, but happiness is a temporary state. I am happy today because I have a great family, a nice home, a decent job and my bills are paid.

 Also because I'm pretty healthy, Christmas is coming, my kids are doing great in school and the headache I had this morning went away. But things could be different tomorrow if I wake up and my car won't start, I get a tax bill in the mail or a traffic camera takes a picture of my husband running ANOTHER red light! Lol! Anyway, what I'm trying to say is I am looking for more than happiness; I am looking for fulfillment in my life.

 

Wikipedia defines personal fulfillment as " the achievement of life goals which are important to an individual ………."

 

That's what I want……………………………………


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